1. Your Kids call the sand box "NTC."
2. Your wife has mermites in the china cabinet.
3. Your older kids call the younger one ''cherry."
4. When your wife left you, you had a change of command.
5. Your wife carries a buttpack instead of Gucci purse.
6. When your family gets together you call them "Slice Elements."
7. You butter your toast with a bayonet.
8. Your personal license plate says "AT EASE."
9. All your kids names begin with AR.
10. Your grandmother won All-American week.
11. Your POV has your name stenciled on the windshield.
12. Your kids are hand receipt holders.
13. Your kids practice Drill & Ceremony at recess.
14. Your dogs name is "Ranger."
15. Your kids pull night guard shifts by the mailbox.
16. Your wife has a better high and tight than your commander.
17. Your wife won't buy anything without a stock number.
18. Your kids have to wax buff the floor before going to school.
19. When your dog died, he got a 21 gun salute at Arlington.
20. Your daughters dolls wear starched uniforms.
21. If your kids fail a test they get a letter of Reprimand.
22. Your kids take monthly urinalysis tests.
23. Your kids salute their grandparents.
24. Your kids get a LES for their allowance.
25. All meals at home are MREs.
26. All your possessions are military issue.
27. Your wife's two favorite shades of lipstick are light green and loam.
28. You go to a barbecue and insist that your family feed tactically.
29. Your children clear housing before they go to college.
30. You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in your floorboard as a part of a tune-up.
31. Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and password.
32. Your house has sector sketches posted by every window.
33. You give the command "Fix Bayonets" at Thanksgiving Dinner.
34. You make your daughter sign out on pass on Prom Night.
35. Your kindergartner calls recess "smoke break."
36. Your wife "takes a knee" in long checkout lines at the Food Lion.
37. Your son fails the third grade but tells everyone he was a "phase three recycle."
38. All your kids have names that start with AR, FM, TM,
or DA Form.
39. You threaten to punish your spouse for preparing dinner too late by reducing her to "Wife First Class."
40. Your kids recite their ABCs phonetically.
41. If your low quarters are part of your Sunday go-to-meetings suit.
42. You have pull-up bars outside the kitchen door.
43. Your newborn's first words were "All OK
Jumpmaster!"
If you have any others that I don't have